Ask J-dogg. This is the advice part of the website.... you write in your questions about life and I give you advice... its as easy as that. I will solve everything from your love life, to what to name your new pet dog, to question six on your math homework. Just email me here and make sure and put "advice" in the subject line. and who knows maybe you will have your email on my site for the world to see. home

>Dear J-dogg- Well I have this  problem you see I used to have this friend.  We and some other friends used to hang out and do stuff at the beginning of the summer but now all of the sudden his one freind who he is SO in love with started hanging with him more and he doesn't call any of us or RETURN our phone calls.  We are kind of hurt but whatever, thats cool so I am wondering what you think, should i treat him the way he deserves to be treated and NEVER EVER EVER talk to him again, or return his phone calls? Hope you can help all of us "FORMER FRIENDS"- thanks!!!!! A very ditched group in Monkeys Eyebrow, AZ dear ditched Thankgod you got my name right. it is JDogg. I never claimed to be a dr. you are supposed to trust dr.'s advice... mine you need to take with a grain of salt.... anyway... you need to keep in mind that this friend is hanging out with someone important to him. Sooner or later your friend is going to realize that he is never going to make his love work.... but that is not the point. the point is that friends always feel love towards their friends. And by the definition of love I mean that of caring non-biasly about the person's happiness. That means if you think that this friend might benifit his happiness then you should back him on it. However this is no excuse for his actions. he is being an ass. BIG TIME. He should call you and you should call him. you have to keep in mind that this relationship with this new person could not be positive and most likely will just end up hurting your friend. so you have to be there to offer advice to your friend about how he is fucking up his life. because he probibly is. Anyway... all you can do is remember that your friend will eventually realize the error of his ways and talk to you. So tell your fuck up friend that he is sooner or later realize that he is a dork and he will probibly side with you. and if he doesn't side with you then he is a dork and deserves to live in AZ. -Jdogg Dear Doc J- I have this friend named, well we will just call her flower, because her real name is a flower name but I don't want to embarrass her. Rose's are cool flowers though huh? Well anyways, this girl flower can't seem to repress her urges to come on to me. At frist I thought it was just a fluke, but then I realized that every time I would look up she would be staring at me with drool coming out of her mouth. Dr. J I need her as a friend so that I can look popular, but she gives me the eee-bee-jeee-bees what should I do? ~ CATastrophically Concerned Hi concerned You need to snap out of it. And NEVER say "eee-bee-jeee-bees" first of all it is spelled "hee-bee-jeeb-eees" but that is a different subject all together. First of all this is dumb because you say that she is your friend and yet you are freeked out because she is attracted to you. If you were a true friend you would be fine with being honest and asking her. And if she says yes or no you need to take it for what it is and let the friendship continue. You just need so say "Look Flower Girl, I am your buddy but I do not feel for you that way" remember that you can not control someone's emotions just your reactions to these emotions. Maybe it might make things weird for a little while but it would be nice and happy again someday. And as for the popular thing. If you truely want to be popular you need to know how to accept all people. And keep in mind that a homosexual friend might help out this cause... if you are cool with her you it shows you are hip and with it and you are cool with all people. So cut it out. -Jdogg Dear Doc J- Help! I'm sitting on the couch, watching T.V. and emailing friends. I have been sitting here for....well, going on a week now. I haven't eaten in six days, because i'm just too lazy to get my ass up off the couch. I have seen 86 re-runs of "Temptation Island" because the remote is on the other side of the sofa, and I'm too lazy to reach over and grab it, let alone get up and walk across the room to change the channel! I think this horrible show has begun to deteriorate my brain...I'm starting to drool. Also, I think I may have wet myself. Please help, Doc J! How can I overcome my laziness so that I don't die of starvation/"Temptation Island" brain numbing?? I'm in dire straits, doc! -Lazy in the Lake City Hi Lazy Now let me explain something about laziness (trust me I know... I too am lazy) There is lazy by default (that is you) and then there is lazy by your own free will (true laziness) One is good the other is bad. Here are my simple steps to understandng why you are in the wrong here, Feel free to write them down and share them with friends 1) Mental State It is always good to control your mental state when being lazy. This makes you able to balance your laziness and able to preform the rest of the list. 2)Bathroom breaks Being lazy is no excuse for smelling like the dude down town who hugs everybody. Plus it gets dangerous due to random medical problems that might accure. How can you be lazy if you are dead. And before you ask it being dead is not laziness. Even really active people die sooner or later. So get up and go to the batheroom.... come on you can do it. remember tip one. 3) Food There is a big difference between being lazy where you can choose at what juncture you want to go and do something. Being week so you can't do anything. That is what makes laziness fun. You can do other things that normal people can but you choose not to. You need food. And it doesn't have to be good food. It is cool to eat junkfood around the house or on your couch. So here is my tip. While up from your bathroom break score yourself some food. 3) The Remote the remote is the lazy persons god. always remember that. Once again it is all about choice. You can choose to watch fantasy island OR you can choose and watch gilligans island. And finally step 4) Walking Now now before you start asking the question yes standing is a part of laziness. It is a proven fact that a person sitting for any long period of time can die from blood clots once standing up. So every two or three hours you should stand, go to the bathroom or get a soda or something and then come and sit back down. Trust me this will totally keep you energized to keep you lazy. So there you have it. Fallow my tips and you will go far. -Jdogg hi mr J-dawg: I have a problem that you might be be able to help me with. I am both a man and a woman, I have everything of both sexes. Anyways I need to get a sex change and I am not sure if I should go for male or female. I have considered both benifits, if I go woman, I can wear smellly hairspray without feeling like a pansey and hopefully fullfill my dream of becoming a CHEERLEADER or I could be come a woman and have the freedom of peeing standing up and walking around topless. Anyways any advice you can give me for this minor problem would be greatly appreciated. Confused MR. Lady in San Fransisco Dear confused I am a little disturbed by your email. I mean sure there are perks to being both genders but also there are some negitive factors. Also before I go on I would like to thank you for your contribution to my site here and that even though I do not work in the feilds of plastic surgury or trans gender psychology I would just like to tell you that I will do the best I can. But listen. Lets go back and examine your email step by step. First of all you have to look at cost. I have very little money so I have a tendency to go for the cheep stuff and though i do not want a sex change if I did I would go for whatever was cheeper. So there is that. That aside I say go for a woman. It is not that I would want to be a woman it is just that it seems you could get away with a lot more. Lets face the facts kids, girls have a tendency to be evil. Its just the cold hard truth. I love them but they are evil. However everyone knows this and so it is just a given and people seem to overlook this. And men who are pansies have a tendency to be looked upon as a woman and so you have to keep these things in mind. Its all a matter of whether or not you want to be called a bitch in the sence of evil female or a bitch in the prison sex term of the word. Other then that steet clear of the whole cheerleader thing. I'm out. Jizzo To the dizzo Hi i have a really big problem, I have always thought of my self as a very nice, beautiful, popular, beautiful, friendly, nice, considerate kind of person. However all of these wonderful personality traits I possess have put me in quite a blunder. I have been "talking" to this girl, we'll call her catherina Flandrona (for privacy purposes), she thinks she's my real friend. Now I can understand that she would really want to be my friend like any normal sane person would because I am really really pretty, nice, popular, and fun, ( and by all that I mean fucking awesome) but she is awfully annoying and stupid and really cramps my style, and she has all of these rashes all over her body and when she scratches them, this stench come out of her that kind of reminds me of this guy's room who used to live down the hall from me. Anyways I don't know how to break the news to her softly, and nicely, that she is a dumb stupid ass who I cannot stand. What do you think I should tell her because she is really making me look really really good when we are together and for her sake as well as mine I think she should throw her self in front of a bus! thanks ---the rizzo fo' shizzo Dear Rizzo I am under the impression that at one time you liked this girl. If not then why do you want to break it to her lightly. I mean it is obvious to the rest of us that this girl sucks... at least according to your discription. We all know people like that who suck and we do not know how to tell them that they suck. I probibly talk to at least 20 of these people a day... and let me tell you... it sucks. My suggestion is to just get her and say to cat i mean to her "yo, you stink!" if you say that like twenty or thirty times after a while she will just leave. It works all the time. I have done this to people in my life who do not have smelly rashes. And you know sometimes it makes people cry and that is sad but whatever they are the one who sucks. And you know rizzo we can not have sucky people cramping our style. There is my advice.- J-Dogg. Dear J-Dogg, My parents are selling our house. We've lived here for 9 1/2 years. I am extremely attached to this place and I'm really worried about how I'm going to handle moving out. What can I do to ease the pain? How do I tell my room that we have 2 short months left together and then I will never live inside it's sweet, sweet walls again? What are some good ways to bond with a home before you leave it forever? Please help! ~Depressed in Deerfield Dear Deerfield, I am not going to tell you that everything will be ok.... because it won't. Leaving a house is like leaving a stray dog on the side of the road. You know that you will have no where to put it when you keep it with you and yet you are worried that it will be hit by a semi. The advice I can give you is that you have two options: You can learn to bond with your new house (I sugest dancing around naked while there is no one else in it) or 2. Do something to make you HATE your current house. Consider it that person you have been dating for a long time and after you break up you still dig him/her but you tell yourself all the bad things and then all of a sudden you hate that person even though you have a long history with that person. In comparison any house will be great. That or you could just chain yourself to the radiator and tell your parents that you will never let them move. I hope that helps. -J-Dogg